So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
