at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize