just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
