It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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