i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
