One girl and one boy is just not enough.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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