dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
