It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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