If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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