he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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