i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
