My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
