Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
