this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
