Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
