Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
