Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
