He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
