as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
