Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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