You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
