Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
