Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
