I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
