I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
