no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
