She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
