i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
