If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
