went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm at about main and main street
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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