i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
