Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
