CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
