So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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