is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
