I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
