Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize