i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
