Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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