we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize