No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
my liver is dry heaving
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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