Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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