And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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