and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
