I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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