oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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