the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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