Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
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