I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
