I'm lost and stupid without you.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
