we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
