the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
