I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
