the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
