im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
