U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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