It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
