Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
