The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
