Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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