Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
