Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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