He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
