So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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