Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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