Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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