it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
This toilet bowl is my home.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
