what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
