i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
