He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
