on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
