Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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