covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
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